There Was a Time

There was a time when I knew what I wanted.
There was a time when I didn't.
There was a time when I was scared and secure,
happy and sad,
mourning the loss of someone I held dearly,
and celebrating the luck of finding a friend.
There was a time when I was angry at the world for the sheer cussedness of my bad luck,
and a time I truly felt blessed to be here.
There was a time I couldn't hold my head up
- humiliation got the best of me and I wore it like a badge,
or an eye patch -
and there was a time I screwed up and no one knew.
Still today, no one knows what I've done.

There was a time I thought cheaters never prosper.
There was a time I thought love lasted; I didn't know it would come and go and come, again.
Nothing is ever exactly as it seems.
Everything is subject to change, to revision, to self-evaluation, to improve.

There was a time I thought I knew who I was.
There was a time I tried to bluff my way through.
There was a time I couldn't get out of bed.
There was a time I had to rely on someone else to get me through the day,
the hour,
the minute.
There was a time I thought about ending my time; all hope was lost.

There was a time I thought I knew it all.

There was a time I was happy, but that was yesterday.