Teensy

As in the size of this suit I squeeze myself into -
It’s not cute.
I'll need the top just for one breast,
but God gave me two,
And what is a woman with hips supposed to do?

Its matching part - a hairsbreadth wide

is not enough to hide the breadth I’d bear
- with or without a prayer
to those bathing suit gods in the air.

The hair on my head is thinning and gray,
I'll curl it or color it.
I’m proud to display, but the hair on my body
- of a different kind - must be shaved and/or waxed.
These rules are defined.

So, into the shower, my razor in hand,
to prune the hedges of those areas -
not tanned - but my eyes will not focus,
no matter the closeness, and I miss that patch
on the outside of my calf or skip the hairs at my ankles.
And I laugh then I wonder -
how high to go (always the question)
To the knee?
To the thigh?
Or a higher progression?

But, now you want me to shave my - where?
I say "Thanks, but no thanks!
I think I’d rather play solitaire."
and wonder whose idea of a joke is this custom?
(It's at this point I ponder becoming a Muslim.)

I think I'd rather wear shorts,
Or a maybe burka
Or maybe even move somewhere really, really cold.

And that's when I realize - good gosh - I've gotten old!