The Giants are in the World Series, again.

"Dim the lights," he said. "It's way too bright in here.  These lights give off too much heat."

She lowered the toggle, noting how many times she'd wanted to do this over the last twenty one years, and finally her husband was agreeing to a romantic candlelight dinner. 

"It's amazing the changes that can happen in a marriage, if you'll only be patient," she said taking her seat at the kitchen table.  She carefully unfolded her napkin and laid it across her lap. "Cheers," she said, raising her glass of half sweet-tea and half lemonade to the love of her life.

"Cheers," he replied. "Do you mind if we watch the World Series?  The Giants are in it, again."

She tilted her head, wondering how to respond. If I say yes, does it set a precedent? she wondered. Can you even set a precedent after this long?  At this point, isn't it already set? "Sure, no problem," she answered, but he'd already put down the remote.

"I don't really care who wins," he said. "I'd rather talk to you, anyway."  He grinned at her.

There, she thought. That's romance. "Thank you," she acknowledged. "So, how was your day?"

And he told her.  For twenty minutes he talked to her about the intricacies of his landscape business.  He recreated conversations he'd had with his employees, and with his customers.  He discussed the changes in the new health care reform, and how the effect it would have on his bottom line.

Somewhere in this discussion, her mind drifted.  What did we used to talk about when we were dating? she wondered. Surely we had something in common when we first got together. But she searched her memory bank and it came back void. When her husband paused in his daily re-creation, she posed that very question to him.

"Do you remember what we used to talk about when we were dating?" she asked.

"No, what?" was his response.

"I can't remember," she said, baffled.

"Why does it matter?  We have plenty of things to talk about, now."

"Like what?"

He chuckled. "Boring you with my work stuff, again?"

She smiled.

"Okay, tell me about your day, then."

And she began to recount the various activities that made up her day.

"I had to take Drew to school today, because he missed the bus.  Then I came home and did laundry."

He nodded.

"I'm thinking about getting out of that investment club and using the money to buy a new washer.  Ours is on its last legs."

Her husband put a bite of noodles in his mouth.

"What else did I do? Let's see ... I talked to Sylvia about her trip.  They're thinking of having another baby. She's just like your mother, you know?  It's no wonder your brother married her.  They're both crazy."

Her husband nodded, again, swallowing a large gulp of the tea and lemonade mixture.

"I cleaned the kitchen and listened to a really interesting interview on the radio about Japan.  You'd have liked it."

Her husband didn't nod this time; he was wiping the napkin across his lips.

"I guess my day sounds about as boring to you as yours does to me," she acquiesced.

"Your day doesn't sound boring, honey." he comforted. "It sounds relaxing.  I'm glad you had such a fun day."

Fun? she thought. Was it a fun day?  Is this what fun is at forty?  She had a vision of herself at ten, dreaming of the day she would one day be happily married.  What were those dreams about, she couldn't say specifically, just some vague idea of bliss and joy.

"I don't think I'm happy, honey." she admitted, looking down at the untouched plate of food in front of her.  "All of those things sound great, but it's as if I'm  missing something in my life."

"What?" he asked, a concerned look suddenly on his face.

"If I knew "WHAT?" don't you think I'd go get it?" she snapped.

He paused for a minute, took a breathe, and asked, "What can I do?"

"I don't know," she answered, the snap gone.  Do all couples have this?  Is this normal marriedhood? Each day I make a new list of things to do, but each day the list is the same.  Normal for me is cleaning, and cooking, and caring, and fixing dinner.  Every day - 365 days a year - for twenty one years! "I think I need a break." she said.  "I want to go back to being twenty something when life was still ahead of me and see if I'd make the same choices."

"I see," her husband responded.  "You mean you want to see if you'd still marry me." he asked.

Shit!  That's not what I wanted to do.  I don't want to hurt this man who's been so good to me.  I just want to find my way to be happier here! "Oh, honey," she said. "It's not you, it's me."

He grinned at her. "Okay, Costanza.  How about if we turn up the lights and watch the World Series together tonight.  That's probably something we did when we were dating."

She nodded.

"Do you remember who won the year we got married?"

"No, who?"

"The Angels, honey.  I can't believe you don't remember!  They beat the Giants!"

She wiped her lips with the napkin, and then smiled.